My Top 10 Funny Movie Quotes

Here are my Top 10 movie quotes that always make me laugh! :-)


10) Ted

Ted: Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
John: F*cking right.
Ted: Alright, come on, let's sing the thunder song.
John: Alright.
John, Ted: [singing] When you hear the sound of thunder, / Don't you get too scared. / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words: / "F*ck you, thunder! / You can suck my dick! / You can't get me thunder / 'Cause you're just God's farts!" 



9) Happy Gilmore

Shooter: Just stay out of my way... or you'll pay! LISTEN to what I say!
Happy: How about I just go eat some hay, I can make things out of clay, and lay by the bay? I just may! What'd ya say?





8) Little Miss Sunshine


"Everybody, just... pretend to be normal."








7) Juno

Mark: So... Let's talk about how we're going to do this thing.
Juno: What do you mean? Don't I just have the thing? Squeeze it on out and hand it over?
Gerta: Mark and Vanessa are willing to negotiate an open adoption...
Mac: What do you mean?
Juno: Wait... No! I mean, can't we just, like, kick this old school? Like, I have the baby, put it in a basket and send it your way, like, Moses and the reeds?
Mark: Technically, that would be kicking it Old Testament.



6) Crazy, Stupid, Love


"The war between the sexes is over. We won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise."







5) Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi



 "When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not."








4) Tropic Thunder


"I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!"  









3) Zoolander

Derek: Hey Hansel. I'm real sorry you didn't get Mugatu's Derelicte campaign. Maybe next time.
Hansel: What's that?
Derek: Mugatu's Derelicte campaign, sorry you didn't book it.
Hansel: Oh yeah? I've never even heard of it. Me and my friends have been too busy bathing off the southern coast of St. Barts with spidermonkeys for the past two weeks, tripping on acid, changed our whole perspective on shit. So I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.
Derek: I can dere-lick my own balls thank you very much. You think you're too cool for school, but I've got a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite. You aren't.
Hansel: Who you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?




2) Pulp Fiction

Vincent: And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the f*ck a Quarter Pounder is.
Jules: Then what do they call it?
Vincent: They call it a Royale with cheese.
Jules: A Royale with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac?
Vincent: Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it le Big-Mac.
Jules: Le Big-Mac. Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Whopper?
Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King. You know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup?
Jules: What?
Vincent: Mayonnaise.
Jules: Goddamn.
Vincent: I've seen 'em do it, man. They f*ckin' drown 'em in that shit.



1) Parenthood


Helen: Baby?
George: Your daughter's having a baby?
Helen: A baby?
George: You're going to be a grandma?
Helen: No, no, no, no. I'm too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. They bake, and they sew, and they tell you stories about the Depression. I was at Woodstock for Christ's sake! I peed in a field! I hung on to The Who's helicopter as it flew away!
George: I was at Woodstock.
Helen: Oh yeah? I thought you looked familiar!

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